D3 body, D1 cock
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
