Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
