i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
tonight lets celebrate not being married
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
