Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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