Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just blew my weed a kiss
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
