Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
