Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
