we have officially lost it.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Do you still have your period?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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