dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
