Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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