he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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