Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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