I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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