Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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