god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
