I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My legs feel like baby dolphins
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
