I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
