I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I showed him my bush... on skype.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
