i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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