is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
