Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
