If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize