yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
