..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
