a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
