I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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