She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
