yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
