somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
