My hand turned me down
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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