he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
