in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
