Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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