i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
