thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
