How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
