i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
