as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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