Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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