omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
