So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
