how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
