I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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