ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
