i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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