need another drink. this is the easiest way
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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