All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
