i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
