Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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