When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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