that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
