i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
