how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
